Parchment-toned hero image for the Library of From the Lees showing the lees dictionary definition.

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  • Confidence gets quieter

    I heard it said that explaining yourself reveals your uncertainty. That when you’re truly confident and sure, you stop arguing, stop justifying. You just get quieter. I’m still learning what that silence feels like from inside.

  • Even Facebook Marketplace can smell desperation

    I listed the item. Priced it fairly. Someone else sold the same thing quickly for more with less to offer. I felt the frustration land hard. Then I got honest – I needed that sale. And need has a smell. You can feel it through a screen without knowing why you’re scrolling past. The more you need the result, the harder it is to get.

  • Obsession is just how I install things

    I get obsessed. I go deep, learn everything, consume it completely. And then one day the grip loosens – not because I forced it, but because the thing got installed. I stop needing the obsession once the outcome is just part of how I live. The wanting didn’t fail. It finished.

  • The want grows with you

    I used to think the goal was to want less. But my desire just scales as I live – there will always be something to want. Maybe that’s not a problem to solve. Maybe wanting is just proof that you are living.

  • There is a type of wealth that cannot be taken from you

    I pushed through so much discomfort. I learned myself. I know now that I am smart, not lazy – capable and skilled. It took a lot to prove it to myself and sometimes I forget or don’t believe. This knowing, however fragile, is a type of wealth I keep cultivating slowly.

  • On knowing when to let go

    On knowing when to let go

    R asked me to come into his piano lesson, then forgot to ask his teacher. Again. I told myself it meant he didn’t need me there. But he’s seven. Maybe he does want me there and just doesn’t know how to ask. Maybe the forgetting isn’t an answer – it’s its own kind of asking. I don’t know when to let go. I’m not sure anyone does.

  • Caution is sometimes just distrust in disguise

    Caution is sometimes just distrust in disguise

    I made myself prove I deserved the real thing before I let myself have it. I called it being responsible. But what I was really saying was: you’re not worth it yet. Earn it first. You aren’t allowed to want what you actually want.

  • Wanting is energy looking for a direction

    Wanting is energy looking for a direction

    Shopping is how I cope. I asked myself why I keep hunting for things. I couldn’t find a clean answer. But somewhere in the middle of writing it out I landed here: the world is unpredictable. Nothing is guaranteed. Wanting something – anything – is just discomfort trying to resolve.

  • Readiness is evidence, not luck

    Readiness is evidence, not luck

    I picked up something new and did it well quickly. My first instinct was to dismiss it – beginner’s luck, nothing special. But if I consistently do things well when I finally feel the pull toward them, that’s not an accident. That’s data about how I’m wired. The block was never my ability. It was waiting for my own permission to begin.

  • The boundary and the pain are the same thing

    The boundary and the pain are the same thing

    I protect my peace now. I don’t choose to participate. I haven’t resolved this. I still feel the sting of all the unresolved emotions when I think about seeing them. You can love people and still refuse to shrink for them.