It surfaced mid-conversation, not while I was alone with my own pages. That’s when it always happens – I don’t feel most of my emotions when I’m by myself. For a second, I wondered if I’ve spent years using other people’s presence to access what I couldn’t reach alone, like I’d been quietly extracting something that was never mine to take. Or maybe there was never anything to access on my own. Maybe I was never taught how to reach it alone in the first place.
